I’m not Sorry. . .

Posted by nicknotnikki on September 15, 2010 · 13 Comments 

    I’d like to think that we’re all logical people. However, I understand that there might be some differences that cause us to fight banter back and forth. But for the most part, we’re all grown, ain’t we?

   I say that to lead me to this point: “I’m grown. I’m a grown woman. I might act young, look young, and dress young(er), but I am a grown ass woman. And after being on this earth for over 30 years, I have realized that I’ve been me for quite a long time. But I’ve met some people who seem to think that I should be apologizing for certain things that make me the great person whose words you are reading. (I’m biased) With a stiff middle finger to those people, I present to you

   “Things I won’t apologize for, Part 1”

   1. Speaking proper English.

     In case you’ve been under a rock, or you didn’t catch it, I’m from Jamaica. Jamaica speaks the Queen’s English. We drink tea, and spell “color” with a “u.” I will not apologize because my speech isn’t “black enough”. Ironically, these observations came from 3 Jamaican dudes that thought I was trying to “shun di bredren dem an a talk like di white man.” Honestly, I’m not searching for some badge from the NAACP saying that I’ve passed “Hood Linguistics 1101.” Go thata way—–>>

  2. My nickname being “Nick.”

  My nickname is Nick. My mother calls me Nick, plain and simple.  In all fairness, when she calls me Nick, she’s usually annoyed, and she says it in a “tone”. However, after 32 years of hearing this, I cannot change it. I refuse to.  It’s not like I woke up one day and wondered, “how can I be different?” and that’s what came to mind. It really is a part of who I am. I realize that a lot of people spend a lot of time trying to come up with “ways I can be different” that everyone ends up being exactly the same. But it just “happened” with me.

  3. Being a tomboy.

   This isn’t the first time you’ve heard this coming from me, but I am a tomboy. I do not care. I’ve always been more comfortable around men. I do not apologize for this. I have two women that I can claim are close friends, and in my life, I have two men that are like family to me. I do not like shopping and would rather be kayaking or swimming. Until very recently, my New Years’ Resolution every year would be “I want to dress more ladylike.” I like working on cars. My idea of a perfect Sunday is watching football with pizza (If there’s a cold front too, that’ll be GREAT!) I can tear the hell up outta some heels, but if you want someone that’s made up all the time, then keep that moving.. Oh.. and I LOVE video games!!

  4. Not acting my age.

   When people hear that my age is 32, they are usually dumbstruck. They tell me that I look anywhere from 19-25, which is very alright with me. However, I cannot recall a time when I have ever acted my age. I matured at a late age, I am usually the one that catches up later on, after everyone else has moved on. I may act a certain way, and some confuse that with being naive, but they usually find out the truth.

   5. Not being married, not having kids.

   So here’s a two in one special. I realize that in today’s culture, I’m considered damn near old. I’ve accepted it, I have no problem with it. HOWEVER, the pity looks that people give me when they find out that I’m not married and have no children is not cute. Some people treat being a wife and mother like a country club that I must try to get into. I realize that some might think that their life started when they got married, and then became more beautiful when the children entered it. I am not one of these people. I am not the type to wait on other people in my life (boyfriends) to “get it together” and stand by, on a wing and prayer hoping for the day that they actually do. I am single, yes, and even though that fact doesn’t keep me warm on chilly nights (the few that we get in Florida) I do not feel like my life is empty because of it. I am surrounded by a few people my age that I actually love and adore, and none of them are married. There’s independence in being single. I enjoy that. I would LOVE for people not to feel sorry for me. I’m well aware of my age, I’m just on a different time schedule. Ironically, my mother isn’t one of the people asking when I’m getting married and having children. I must thank her for that.

    And the Honorable Mention goes to:

  6. Writing this post in the club/ falling asleep in VIP  

    I wasn’t drinking, and the music was coming in spurts. We all know what happens when Nick sits still anywhere. I wrote the outline of this post, and then proceeded to take a little nap while the “lingerie show” was going on. Whatchu want me to do, I’m sorry!”  

   Stay Tuned for Part 2.

     What are the things that you feel you shouldn’t have to apologize for? Dropkick your greatness in the comments.

   Peace and Love, Nick

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