The Gift of Being Single…

     So, there’s a PSA this morning. In light of recent events (i.e. my hating ass job) I’ve decided that in order to not lose touch, I will respond to comments in the evening when I get home. That way, I can say my piece, and you won’t feel neglected. You should subscribe so that you don’t miss the conversation. (If I’m so inclined..)

   With that being said…

      It’s not a secret that I’ve been single for a while (since ’06 to be exact). The relationship that I had come out of was one in which marital counseling and court papers were involved, so we can deduce that it was not a light one. The idea of being single took some getting used to, but as I came to terms with it, I realized that being single is both a gift and a curse, today I’m going to discuss “The Gift.” You might notice that there’s a recurring theme in my points, but I realized while writing the outline that yes, there is a theme.

 

it even comes with a bow...

  1.”Eff yo feelins” – It seems a little selfish, but I love not having to worry about someone else’s feelings. This doesn’t go for friends and relatives and such. But when you’re in a relationship, it’s a different dynamic you’re working with. There’s a different set of emotions/ responsibilities at play. I realize that a lot of the way I feel now is a result of my last relationship which wore me out in every way and I realize that I’m still tired. I like that I don’t have to worry about someone else’s feelings. My movements are mine and if you don’t like it, you can suck an egg.

   2. “Yes, I’m going there”- This goes hand in hand with #1. I think all the single people can agree that not having to consult someone before deciding on what to do and when to do it is a big gift with being single. I don’t answer to anyone. And I know, we’re dealing with grown relationships now, you don’t always have to consult someone (if at all) but not having to worry about how my actions might make another person feel is a big plus. I don’t want to explain to you why I didn’t feel like hanging tonight. Yes, I want thai food for dinner, again. No, I don’t feel like talking. No, there’s no reason why I didn’t answer your phone call other than, I. didn’t. feel. like. talking. And if you don’t like that, you can suck a rotten egg.

  3. “Aren’t you in a funky mood?” – At the end of the day, I’m tired. I want to come home and decompress and release the day from me. When no one is home, my house is my haven. I don’t want to worry about what mood my partner is going to be in and then have to work on getting him out of his funky mood. I’m selective about who I choose to voluntarily spend my time with. And maybe it comes with my selfish phase, but I don’t want to deal with anyone’s funky mood to overthrow my good one. Maybe the fact that my mother does this all the time means that I have no energy for anyone else. But when I’m single, I’m the only person I’m dealing with and I can control my mood. Which is a great and wonderful thing.

   4. “I trust you, I mean, me” – I’d like to say that I trust people, but that’s not always the case. You see, when I’m single I have no problem trusting everyone in the relationship, because it’s just me. I don’t have to wonder about much, because there’s no one else in my equation.

   I can think of more, but I don’t want to say all the good things about being single. It’s not a secret that I’m a control freak. The way I see it, relationships are filled with variables. And the logic argument tells me that if I had a hard enough time learning math, which is filled with constants (1+1=2) then dealing with something that is filled with variables (feelings, moods, whose sun is in what house, weather) does not make me wanna jump in and go “WHEE!”

    That’s the way I see it this morning. But what do you think? What are the gifts that come with being single? Does it seem like the rantings of a freak that doesn’t want to lose control? I’m just wondering. 

   Peace and Love, Nick

   p.s. Do I sound bitter? I look a little jaded…

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Comments
6 Responses to “The Gift of Being Single…”
  1. Nope, I don’t think you sound bitter or jaded. I think all of your points listed are the bright sides of being single. Being responsible for only you.

  2. i don’t think you sound jaded. being single has its ups as well as its downs. you just points out the ups. i’m sure you’ll be doing a follow up post to highlight the downs as well. 🙂

  3. sanen85 says:

    I completely cosign this whole list. Let me add…

    1. No guilt over how busy I am. Sometimes it’s not really a matter of making time for what you want to make time for. Sometimes, you honestly just cannot rearrange some priorities to fit around another person’s priorities without sacrificing your physical well-being (ie. going out when you are running on 2 hrs of sleep a night as is).

  4. Jeannie says:

    I love this post! It’s totally positive and something that you should remind yourself of all the time. I wrote a book that I think you’d love called “365 Reasons Why I’m Still Single.” There’s a reminder for every day of the year of why being single is awesome! Check it out on Amazon or be a fan on Facebook (or both!) http://amzn.to/efDMiC

  5. i love this post. completely agree with you!

    http://amartianslove.wordpress.com/

  6. Jessica says:

    … I honestly think that you’re totally right about everything!

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