The Post NOT About Resolutions… (But it is)
I don’t like resolutions. Don’t get me wrong, I like the idea of them, I just don’t like all the pressure that comes with them. We can enjoy the high of actually planning on doing something better for ourselves, then wander through the despair that comes (usually before Jan 20th) when we realize that we’ve failed at keeping up with the resolution (already). However, because I need to make some changes (and the new year already started) I am going to make my list now..
1. Take better care of my body:
There’s nothing worse than a closet full of clothes you can’t wear. There’s few things harsher than looking for 1 pair of jeans for work, but having to wade through the size 4’s and 6’s. Even though I try to eat healthy, I know I could do better. Even though I’m trying to erase fast food altogether, I know it might not totally be realistic, so I’m severely limiting it. I’ve started working out, and hopefully, with my eating better I can get back to the size I was last year. (I was a size 4) The hardest part of any workout plan is actually getting off the couch. And worse of all, I’m single, so I can’t afford not to be putting my best out there. We can pretend that someone “should love me for me” but I know the way I feel when I have pounds packed on, and even though I carry it well (it’s all about the illusion) it still isn’t confidence inspiring.
2. Continue to grow stronger: Now, I’ve alluded to it, but there’s someone in my life that has become the master of the “Jedi Mind Tricks.” I’ve made some movements forward in taking control of my life and just how much I would let him in. I’ve become a master at not letting my emotions rule me. I’m glad I started this process before the new year because somewhere along the line, I realized that I ain’t got that kinda time. The double standard is correct, an over 30 year old man is still a catch. An over 30 year old woman is looked at all o_O.
I’m over 30.
3. Be better to my mom: Now, this one is hard as hell because I don’t have a lot of patience for ignorance, and my mother is the master of it. However, I’m taking it to the mattresses and preparing for a battle. I can tell ya’ll that what I’m dealing with with my mother is spiritual, but it involves a deeper rabbit hole than I can get into right now (it’s 2 in the morning). My home life is anything but easy, but I’m trying to be the change I want to see and yadda, yadda, yadda.
4. Be better with my brother: Take #3 and add my brother to it. This is gonna be a doozy.
5. Grow spiritually: I realize that I have this on my list every year. For a while, my sexual activities kept me from feeling like I could ask God for anything. But since that’s stopped (shock!) then I feel a little bit better about going before God. There’s certain things (like relationships and whatnot) that I need direction on and I can’t get that if the Big Man and I don’t talk. He’s done a lot for me in 2010. I can at least give Him the thanks that’s due.
6. Start taking this blog seriously: I mentioned before that I haven’t fully adjusted to being employed. However, whether or not I’m going to bed at 10 o’clock, I could do better with my time management and write (or know what I’m writing) so that I’m not rushing to figure something out 2 hours before it’s due. I also feel like readers can tell when a post is rushed (or half-assed) and behave accordingly. If I’m so grateful that you guys have stopped by to read, then the least I can do is give you the best that I got (#NoAnita) and not treat writing like something I hate doing. Because honestly, when I have the topic right, I love it.
These are the big 6 resolutions I have this year. There are some minor ones, but I can address those as the year progresses. I hate looking backward and thinking about how much time I’ve wasted already, so instead, I’ll shift my perspective and say that there’s no better time to start. It’s a lot to tackle, but hopefully, by putting it out there, someone can hold me accountable when I start to slip. *Sigh*
Hopefully I’ll have great news to report in 2011.
And so it begins….
What about you? Whatchu got on the life list in 2011?
I’m glad you came back….
Peace and Love, Nick