What’s the Big Deal About A Three-Way?

   Since I’ve been single, I’ve had the opportunity to get to know a few men. Not on any kind of “love affair” level, but friendly wise. Everyone now and then at the wrong time of night someone might lapse into the sex conversation. (It’s usually the man, but you knew that already) And for the sake of “whatever” I’ll play along. It can go from, “what’s your favorite position” to “what’s your fantasy?” and other situations that I make sure to re-iterate, will never happen. Invariably the 3-way topic will come up. (And no, I’m not talking about phone calls) They’ll wonder if I would ever do one, have I ever done one and when I answer “no” they’ll wonder why.

   The last quy I was heavily involved with (sexually) was pretty tame when I met him. He was a bit too tame and he makes it a point of telling me that I broke him out. Needless to say, there were things that one would consider basic that he’d never done, let alone thought of, so I didn’t have to dodge any 3-way questions. He never fixed his mouth to ask me if there was a chick that I would consider “sending invitations” to. This is something I can appreciate because I didn’t want to have to say “you think I’m selfish with food, TRY SEX!”

   However, I realize that a dude like that is rare. There’s a lot more things openly discussed nowadays. Little taboos only spoken in hushed tones is now water cooler talk. I mean, I’m not working to know that for a fact per se, but I would imagine so. The thing is, that I really wonder what’s the selling point.

    What’s the big deal about a 3-way?

    I can draw my conclusions about it. I mean, I watch enough sex scenes movies and you can sometimes see the passion. Maybe the great thing about 3-ways is the “heat” behind it. That there’s so much sexual energy in the room that it cannot be denied. It doesn’t matter whose hand is where, no one can get enough. I often say that “everyone wants to devour everyone else.” Ok, that’s cool. I get that.

   Maybe the fact that they used to be so taboo adds to the excitement. Is it possible that it’s so “talked up” that everyone wants to do it just to say that they did it? To have that bit of “ooh, I’m a bad, bad girl” or to allow whichever man the license to do the muscle poses in the mirror.

    Yes, I believe that men do muscleman poses in the mirror. You can’t convince me otherwise.

     As I sit back and wonder, I’m not sure that it’s on my list. Don’t get me wrong, I’m ALL for doing the taboo acts. There’s all sorts of stuff I’m open to now (like bobblehead for the VIP’s) that was considered nasty in high school. Maybe with my being older now, my mind has opened somewhat. Maybe I need a few more years before 3-ways take up residence on my bucket list. Maybe.

   I thought about it earlier this year. Me and Maxfab had a conversation about it. Since I’m a very “situational” type of person, I could see myself doing it if the vibe is right. I used to find myself in some situations “because the vibe is right” and regret it in the morning. Which is why I hardly put myself in situations that might end up with me shaking my damn head. Perhaps it’s because I’m thinking with a clear head that 3-ways have me lookin all o_O now.

    Almost every man I know has it on his list before he dies. Why? What is it about having two women at the same time that gives immediate stiffies at the thought? Some of you say that you can’t handle one woman, much less two. Why is that the logic when discussing why he’s not cheating, but in the bedroom it’s ok? Is it a power struggle? Does it make you feel like an King Ramses and your concubines are doing your bidding? I mean, I watch Bible movies too. I know how they got down.

    I’m not gonna say I’ll never do it, but I’m just thinking. I’m selfish enough with food. Sex is the ultimate act where I want all eyes (fingers, hands, wang, and tongue) on ME! I don’t mind if my neighbor hears, as long as there isn’t anyone else actually joining the party.

   Maybe there’s something I’m missing. So I’m putting it out there for all of you. Would you consider a 3-way? Did something about the movie “Trois” speak to you on a deep and personal level? Have you done it?! Cuz I REALLY wanna know how that even came up. No, I DO NOT need details. At ALL! Did it happen organically or did someone do a “quarterback sneak” and before you knew it there were too many hands in the cookie jar?

    What’s the big deal about a 3-way?

    I’m not in school right now, so you can teach me
   Peace and Love, Nick

31 Responses to “What’s the Big Deal About A Three-Way?”
  1. Men make muscle poses in the mirror the same way women look at their a**es in the mirror. If you don’t think you’re banging no one else will.

    I can actually say that a three-way is not on my bucket list. Sounds cools and sh*t but A) I’m happily coupled B) I look at threesomes like I look at smoking weed. Never done it so I’m doing just fine without it. C) Moneypenny isn’t playing that sh*t with another chica and there’s no way in hell I’m doing a Devil’s three-way.

    • nicknotnikki says:

      LOL!! I look at my ass in the mirror. All the time. Almost everytime I pass by..
      That’s a hilarious parallel there..

      I used to be one of those people that would try something once so at least when I say “not for me” then it’ll be an informed conclusion. I had that mentality with weed, beer, sex “in the back door” and smoking. But I do have to draw the line somewhere. I draw the line at “drugs that are made in labs whose ingredients I can’t pronounce,” oysters and “certain sexual acts.” This might end up being one of them.

      Is a “devil’s 3-way” as simple as a 3-way with two other chicks? One of whom is not Ms. Moneypenny? or is there some urban definition that I don’t know..

      Everyone and their lingo nowadays..

      • I thought that mirror thing was common knowledge. I’ll stick to sky-diving and ish for my bucket activities.

        I feel you on the weed. I didn’t want to take my anti-inflammatory meds when I hurt my knee. Usually I don’t bang with any drug stronger than Zyrtec D.

        A Devil’s Three-Way is a chick and two dudes. It’s from How I Met Your Mother. http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=devil%27s+three+way

        I can’t do it. I’ll save the three-ways for porn. Moneypenny and I will just find some other nasty ish to do to get off.

  2. DG says:

    ^^^^Yeah, what Wu said…except part A (I ain’t coupled up).

  3. I think that men are more attracted to the IDEA of a 3-way than the actual 3-way itself. But since I’ve never had sex a 3-way, I really have the least credibility on the subject.

    It really just seems to be simple math though. Two (women) > one (woman). I don’t think it’s deeper than that.

    • Streetz says:


      People who are in touch with their sexuality will like this a lot. Its just a higher plane of reality or so I’ve heard…

    • nicknotnikki says:

      VSB did a post on the types of women that men say they want, but it’s a lie.. (or something like that).. I wold say all men, but I might add this to some sort of list that men say they want, but they might be misled..

  4. *OnlyYolie* says:

    I think in theory it seems all hot and passionate. you’re thinking all that for me? but in actuality it just seems like lots and lots and lots of work? i mean where is the line drawn? you as the lone female with two heterosexual males means that YOU are the one getting everyone else off. hmmmm think about that… the dudes came to have sex not masturbate coupled with the fact that men are naturally competitive. so guy A gets oral then guy B wants oral, Guy A gets vaginal then guy B wants vaginal. and repeat because as it comes up isn’t is YOUR responsibility to get it down? are there breaks? agreements in advance that there is only X amount of ejaculations allowed? suppose guy B is bringing the heat and guy A not so much? for the mmf style i say too much work too much unknown and i’ll pass on that… as for any other combination hmmmmm

    • nicknotnikki says:

      Girl.. you will hardly get two men in the same bed. It’s urban legend that the resounding “Hell NAH!” when the subject is broached will leave you heartbroken. I understand what you mean. There’s too much testosterone and not enough estrogen in that scenario.
      But for the people that have FFM on their list, I was wondering why. I’m on the fence about it. I already don’t like too many pussies in one area in LIFE.. Much less the bedroom.

  5. Woman of Inspiration says:

    I am new to your blog but have been reading for quite some time. Thought I should chime in cause this topic is a HOT one.

    All I gots to say is “I AM SELFISH”, especially when it comes to men and food (great minds think alike). I prefer to have my time dedicated to 1 partner, I ain’t into sharing and I do not want to multi-task in bed (focusing on 2 men to please?? GTFOH, and no Girl-on-girl action for me…sorry). So for me I do not see the big deal with “3 ways”, not a necessary scenario for my bedroom antics. Got other “Scenarios” I’d rather fulfill first…..

    Great post!!

    • nicknotnikki says:

      Thank you for commenting.. and WELCOME!!
      *throws all sorts of confetti*

      And your comment is how I’m thinking. I try not to let my personal life be more work than actual work.. I can’t go into the bedroom and have to concentrate on whose needs have to be met and whatnot..

      that sounds like WORK!
      come back and comment now y’hear?

  6. *OnlyYolie* says:

    Nick ( i capitalized your first letter to emphasize b/c i usually punctuate but skip the caps throughout) i will tell you that mmf is NOT an urban legend. maybe in the way you’re thinking about it all romantic and stuff, but i do personally know females that have done the triz, that’s how i know it’s work, work and more damn work. i have done the other way on more than one occasion and can say it is fun, not too much work for one person and everyone can tap everyone off so there are breaks and electrolyte replenishment periods without one monkey stopping the show.

  7. the thought of two women together just turns me on. two women kissing. breasts rubbing together and not to mention one woman eating the other out. also there’s the selfishness of it. two women trying to give me head at the same time. or one giving me head and the other sucking my balls. yea. a threesome is something i would like to try one day. *shrug*

  8. BP says:

    I will never do a 3-way although I once fantasized about it because these days sex means more to me than just the act itself. A good friend of mine asked me to participate in a menage recently and I.just.couldn’t. I don’t want to sound all preachy but gone are my days of sex without significance.

    Good post Nick…your points almost had me second guessing my self.

    • nicknotnikki says:

      I totally understand what you mean. I’ve never been asked to participate in a three-way (and I think I might be offended). I’m trying my hardest to be off sex til I get married (don’t look at me like that) I’ve gotten to the place where I’m fine without it (although I have a weakness for a particular man) so I’m just gonna leave that alone.
      But then it begs the question. What if my husband was the one that kept bringing it up? I can’t walk away because we’re married, but how would I handle it? Would we have to start counseling because there’s a different issue at the root of it? I know that my husband would have similar beliefs as me, so I have to assume that him wanting to sex someone that he’s not married to wouldn’t arise..
      Never say never though..
      GAD LEE! All this junk makes me wanna stay single..

  9. sanen85 says:

    I’ve always been open to the idea of a FFM three-way with the right person. I always told my husband I was down for it (although, I’m not sure how down for it I really was because I really don’t think he would have dealt with it well). I’m not going to lie, I’ve fantasized about it as a)part of wanting to be able to do something like that for my future (possibly fictional) man and b)curiousity surrounding haven my kitty kat stroked by someone who more personally knows their way around. That said, I’m okay with having a woman go down on me, but the thought of returning that favor is the opposite of appealing. Also, while I would want to please my man like that, what kind of doors does that open? Does it make our “normal” sex life seem tame by comparison?

    I have been approached by a few couples to play third in their party and I just couldn’t do it. It’s on thing if I’m part of the couple, another to be the “outsider”.

    • MsEsquire77 says:

      I’ve made it my ENTIRE adult life and have NEVER been asked to be a couple’s 3rd. I obviously need to get my sexy up 😦

      • keisha brown says:

        the night is still young my dear!
        i’d ask you..but i need the 2nd before i can add a 3rd.
        womp. womp. womp.

  10. keisha brown says:

    it’s funny..
    i’ve gone back and forth about wanting to do one..but im too much of a thinker. such as:

    1. i would only do it with someone i trust. and if i trust him like that, there are probably feelings. and if there are feelings..im not sharing his magic stick with nobody
    2. who and how do we find this 3rd person (im presuming female)? if he brings her into it, then i’ll be wondering where/how this convo came to be. do i ask a friend that i know is freaky? my best friend is a dental hygenist and i refuse to let her clean my teeth. soooo……
    3. what am i willing to do? how far am i willing to go? could i lick some other chicks puddy tat? could i watch my dude do that?
    4. what happens after? do we all just packup and go home? kick that 3rd person out? fight over the wet spot?
    5. is this going to be something he wants to repeat? something i want to repeat? something that will make our regular chex life seem boring?
    so many questions..dunno about the answers…
    *sigh..i think i know i know why im single. lol.

    that being said..the IDEA of it is pretty hawt and tempting. the actual/execution?? ……

    • nicknotnikki says:

      You have valid points with all your questions. I would be the one to wonder how my dude found another willing chick. How did he know she’d be willing? Maybe that’s why they say you should be secure in your relationship.
      I just figured out how to sum it up! There’s too many technicalities. I like sex to be something that’s organic. Something that just happens. And with a three-way there’s too many variables. Not to mention that they say that once you have sex with someone, a bond forms and whatnot.. I don’t want to run the risk of all that. Not to mention, I’m not sure I can spoil the man that way. All of a sudden, normal sex with just me might not get it done anymore. I’m not willing to risk it.

  11. fixedwater says:

    Been there done that (both kinds) and the word Overrated comes to mind. MMF is too much work and friction. FFM is too competitive for me to be enjoyable.
    Side note: much like sanen85 I am not putting my mouth on her.
    Did it happen organically or did someone do a “quarterback sneak” and before you knew it there were too many hands in the cookie jar?
    It was a case of alcohol and curiosity, so I guess organically.

    • nicknotnikki says:

      I was reading your comment and I was doing the “Say WORD!” to myself..
      And I’m LMAO at the “too much work and friction..” I would ask you to explain, but I think I get the point. And I agree with the FFM assessment. Women are competitive everywhere else. I gotta fight for coochie room in the bed too!? Nah SUH!

    • keisha brown says:

      im kinda jealous.
      carry on.

  12. I fantasize about 3-ways, and I only watch pron with at least 3 people involved. But, I can’t see myself ever getting up the nerve to do it. When I was in college, this guy I used to kick it with asked me all the time for it. MMF with his best friend. Yeah, I turned him down.

    However, if the situation ever presented itself, and depending on the groove, maybe. I do need to christen my new apartment…

  13. R0ckthemike says:

    A 3-Way is something that I’ve thought heavily about. BUT when I really think about it, it seems like way too much pressure. I need to satisfy two women? What if I can’t deliver? #shrugs lol.

    This was hell of a topic to post my first comment on smh. I see you comment on other blogs all the time and figured I’d pay your site a visit. I like

  14. Great post Nick! Its good to explore different avenues with your partner, as long as you are both clear on the limits. Thanks for sharing 😉

    • nicknotnikki says:

      Thanks for commenting! I think a lot of people aren’t realistic about the limits (and expectations).. I just think it takes a certain kind of person to be able to foresee what might happen when another person is introduced into the equation.. If I think about it, there’s too many variables to consider.. And I’m a control-freak. I already know it might not work with me..

  15. 監視器 says:

    Maintain up the great work mate. This weblog publish shows how well you realize and know this subject.

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