The Friendship Fail…
I’m so exhausted, so please forgive me. . .
I’m realizing that I have a lot of issues with the people that I call my “friends” (how many of us have them!? Lol!) What I can appreciate is that I have whittled the cast of characters down a bit to maybe 2. I have two good friends that I can call, that I will actually try and maintain a friendship with, and that whether busy or not, I can split an omelette with at iHop. I appreciate them. I have a gas load of aquaintances that pop in here and there, but I don’t need much to make my “friendship circle” complete.
I say all of that to say this:
When I was pontificating whether or not to start this blog, a poet friend of mind sent me “motivation texts.” She told me about how I was a good writer (she needs more people) and even toyed with the names of what to call my blog. However, when I finally started my blog (9 months later) the person that wished me luck and gave me my first comment was @pinchmycheekie, a woman that I met in the comments of VSB. A woman that I had never met face to face until last Thursday. I can count on one hand how many times the same woman that told me to start the blog has commented. Yet I’m expected to do backflips when a certain blogger (I won’t put her out there like that) responds to her comment on his site. And it’s left me wondering why the people that actually know me in real life (with a few exceptions) are the ones that seem to have NOTHING for me as far as any kind of support is concerned? If I had to measure their support, it would be as useful as a training bra on CoCo with no underwire. (yep, I did just write that.) I love a retweet as much as the next person, but is the fact that they know me in real life the reason why a “good post” text or sumthin escaped their mind? Does that even make sense? I’m sure it does somehow, but it’s slipping my tired brain right now.
My mother doesn’t even know what a blog is. One day she said, “so you just write down anything you want?” I told her, “yeah.” and that was the end of that conversation. She’s tried, but she’s never read anything that I’ve written. I’ve read two posts to her, and she stood in the hallway and smiled, but that was it. She doesn’t even know the page to find it on, so I doubt she’s worried I’m on here spilling family secrets. (I know she is, but she can’t find it, so it’s cool)
I wonder why people that I’ve never met before are my biggest supporters. People who have no idea how long I’ve wanted to do this, or my full story are the ones that bless me daily (well, not daily, but you know what I mean). Even those that don’t have a comment might text me on the side and say something like, “I really felt your post today.” For that I am so thankful, and so grateful. Because obviously, those who have my number (and call me at 3 in the morning) are too busy to read anything that I could possibly write. I couldn’t possibly have anything of note to say.
As much as I love being there for people, I’m noticing that people will quickly become leeches if you let them. Time, energy, and money spent will hardly ever come back to you. Suffice it to say, I’ve had to let some people go. They’ve been bumped down a couple levels. They’re not even on the starting lineup anymore. I’ll let my momma punt the football before I depend on them to do it. Yes, it’s THAT serious! Starting with “Casper” and moving up the ladder to a guy that I used to call my best friend (and had asked to walk me down the aisle). This friendship is a barter system. You give something, you get something. Nope, I don’t even do Lay-a-way. *Folds arms defiantly*
To those that don’t know me (like that) and yet still find the time (and energy, and keystrokes) to say something, “Thank you.” It’s funny when absolute strangers show the love that you wish family and friends would.
Is this phenomenon just me?
Yes, I’m froggy as hell tonight… tired too..
Peace and Love, Nick