The Movie Wish List. . .
I’m finishing up preparations for The Fantastic of Ten. So I’m bringing you a guest post from The Dash Mane.. Introduced on VSB and a fellow blogger.
The Film Wish List: Directed By The Dash Mane
At one point in his life, your “Friendly Neighborhood Dash Mane” dreamed of being an auteur. I had plans of combining the sardonic wit of Woody Allen with the baroque imagery of Federico Fellini. My style would be singular, my awards would be plural, and above all else The Based God would be pleased. * Cue The Violins *
But like many dreams, my fantasies of sitting in the director’s chair became deferred. Dried up like a raisin in the sun. It was replaced by the idea that I should devote myself to the ascetic life of hobo philosophy. Well luckily for the readers of this here blog the heavy load of my director’s dream deferred will explode upon the pages of Nick@Nite. Here are three media properties I would Tyler Perry if given the opportunity.
The Glory Field is one of my favorite required reading texts from high school. If I were the kind of person who used the term underrated, I would drape that title over this novel. It does not even have it’s own Wikipedia page. This may be my favorite novelized “Black Family Epic”, just barely defeating Gloria Naylor’s “Mama Day”. The appeal of this property is its scale. The story spans several generations, and therefore has a place in it for every single talented Negro actor in Hollywood. If a script for this book were produced, the agents of Cicely Tyson, Lauren London, and 50 Cent would all be in a rush to get their clients auditions. If I were to direct it the result would be a mix of Monsoon Wedding, Get On The Bush, and Mi Familia.
Space Channel 5 is hands down one of the best pieces of satiric media of the past 11 years. It is a tongue-in-cheek indictment of the mainstream media, the mania surrounding illegal immigration, the dangers of over-reliance of technology, and the liberating qualities of music. Bonus point for SC5: It features Michael Jackson as a character. A live action movie based on this property this property has cult classic written all over it. It may only have modest box office returns, but it has a lot of potential to make a mint with merchandise tie-ins. I would lift the visuals from Speed Racer and pair it with a soundtrack of Michael Jackson remixes produced by Ed Banger Records, to create this generation’s “Rocky Horror Picture Show”.
James Cameron of Dark Angel introduced television viewers to a dystopian cyber-punk future and Jessica Alba. The source material is rich, and provides writers with a lot of room to play. Unfortunately for fans of the show, the writers lost their way during the midpoint of the show’s run. A valiant effort to reclaim the spark that initially made the show could not save it from the chopping block. The show was canceled whilst hanging from a cliff, and replaced by Firefly. I have been bitter about the cancellation for years, and if given the opportunity I would resurrect the show in movie form. The fans of Dark Angel need closure. I need closure.
The Little Red Hen holds the distinction of being the first book I ever read, and thus holds a special place in this shotta’s heart. This entry into my filmography requires a great deal of imagination. The Little Red Hen on it’s surface is a simple story with a simple moral, but after I get my hooks in it it will be much more. There will be a love triangle that is complicated by one of her pursuers being the father of her child, who has returned after living on another farm for years.The resultant strife caused by two cocks fighting for The Little Red Hen’s hand, and for primacy of the barnyard causes the farm to choose sides. War seems to be eminent, and it is up to The Little Red Hen to navigate a world full of the jealous, hungry, wretched refuse yearning to breath free, fry or fertilize her eggs, and eat her cornbread. This 3-D animated gem will win a goon multiple Oscars.
This is the part where I ask you about your dream projects. What book or other media property would you like to see up on the big, or small screen?
The Dash Mane is a dynamic individual and who can be summed up by this Roddy Piper quip: “Just when they think they have all the answers, I change the questions.” He blogs here: Click Me