I Love an Insensitive Friend. . .

      The Fantastic of Ten in 3 days….

Yes.. it's that serious..

 I’m gonna deal with a certain subject today. I touched on it with the Selfish Friend post. I understand some people can’t see past themselves. In a world of shortsightedness, I understand that sometimes it’s my job (duty even) to be your bi-focals. Or at least verbally sucker punch you.

  There’s an offshoot of that “it’s always about them” characteristic that grows a horrible tree. This tree is poisonous and drops rotten apples on a lot of relationships. This tree breeds fruit that is called “The Insensitive Friend.”

   This is the friend that will suggest you go out for drinks knowing that you got laid off from work 7 months ago. They KNOW that your finances are low, and even though they want your company, they don’t want your company enough to say “Don’t worry, it’s on me.” (Even though their parents pay their mortgage.) They will want to plan trips with you, and when you ask them when they wanna go, they’ll say “next month.” 

  The examples I’m about to give differ from the Selfish Friend. Although there’s certain characteristics that both personalities share.

  1. Invited me out dancing. With them and their S/O.

    I ran this transgression past another friend and she said, “I don’t know what it is with couples wanting to go out with single friends. The invitation text was the first time that I’d heard of it and I was like, “Soo, I’m gonna be doing the hokey pokey in the corner while you and homeboy bump and grind? What part of that seems like fun for me? Why, on God’s green planet would you think that I would put on a face (makeup) and get excited to go do THAT!? iPass. If you wanna have “girl time” then we can plan that and do it. (sans your dude… that I don’t like)

  2. You think my not having a job is so great!

    Example: One day last week, I got a text in the middle of the day. I answered it and explained that I was a little groggy (due to feeling sick) and the return text said “Oh, you just waking up? Must BE NICE!” I can’t begin to explain how many ways this annoys me. However, considering this came from someone that KNOWS how much I want to work. How much I wish I could work, I wanted to do nothing but claw eyes out. Everyone wants to be me, just because I can wake up when I want. I hope you still want to be me come payday. Merde!

    3. Want me to help plan an immigration party… for someone else.

     Now, I understand that not a lot of people think before speaking, my mother is one of them. This person actually came to me and wanted my help in planning an immigration party for someone at our church. It’s one of those moments that makes me wonder if I’m on Candid Camera. She wanted to have people pay a fee and bring food. The money raised could help her friend get a lawyer, or offset her expenses for a while. While I commend her wanting to help someone out, I could not believe that she was asking me, the Queen of all immigration issues! When I explained to her that unless she was being a tad insensitive, she couldn’t understand why. It’s annoying when you have to break it down for someone that claims they’re smart.

    Looking at it, it seems like I am surrounded by the most insensitive, selfish people ever. Not everyone gets the title of friend. I have acquaintances, and once they rear that ugly head, I put them at a distance. We all know how much I love to have my friends, the people that I choose to be around, be more work than an actual job. Combine that with the fact that I don’t exactly “like” people, and you have a recipe for a lot of cussing. Since I’m trying to watch my mouth, I’d rather not have it come to that.

    I would ask you if you have any insensitive friends, but we know you don’t.

    Who are we kidding, they’re everywhere!
     Discuss. . .

    Peace and Love, Nick

12 Responses to “I Love an Insensitive Friend. . .”
  1. great post, Nick. I could tell you so many stories about insensitive people in and around my life and I encountered 95% of them in college. what struck me as odd, was the fact that I took such careful inventory of what upset them, but they weren’t willing or capable of doing the same in return. Eventually, I completely distanced myself from these individuals. I remember when I first started attending a new church after college, the pastor called this pruning. It’s the act of letting all the toxic/nonreciprocal friendships fall by the way side. And occasionally now, I have to do the same thing–take inventory, prune, and walk away.

    • nicknotnikki says:

      My pastor is always saying that friendship isn’t convenient, which is something that has stuck with me for a while.. Somehow, this thought manifested itself into my feeling guilty for letting people go..
      I like to be there for people and feel bad wen I’m not..

      HOWEVER, when I turned 30-31 I looked and adopted the attitude of “what do you bring to my life”.. I refuse to deal with people that just take and bring nothing to the table.. When my tank is running low (because my leeches drained it) then I couldn’t go anywhere and get it halfway filled..
      eff that, life is too short to deal with people i don’t have to.. i refuse to..

  2. Cheekie says:

    “Example: One day last week, I got a text in the middle of the day. I answered it and explained that I was a little groggy (due to feeling sick) and the return text said “Oh, you just waking up? Must BE NICE!” I can’t begin to explain how many ways this annoys me.”

    You ain’t neva lied about this. Sure it’s great to be able to sleep in (I am SO not a morning person), but it’s only TRULY great when you know for sure you have a job to return to.

  3. Capricorn says:

    UGH, I HATE WAKING UP and leaving my nice warm bed. I am NOT a morning person. AT ALL. I tell people to not call me before double digits unless they, personally, are bleeding.

    Anyway, as I get older, I am learning more about my friends. Lets just leave it at that.

  4. Sukez says:

    I hope I never used that “must be nice” line on you. 😦 I hate insensitive people. That “friend” title has been abused one time too many by people. “Associate” is even too much..

  5. Capricorn says:

    Person of interest? A prospect? Like the police do when they are looking for someone who is not a suspect, but is involved somehow? lol

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