Birds of A Feather?
Every now and then, my mother drops some useful info. It doesn’t happen often as I call her “Queen of things I already know” but when it does happen, I take notice.
When I was younger, my mother used to tell me that someone is known by the company they keep. Which works closely in conjunction with “birds of a feather flock together.” This worked for school because as I got older and reputations became important, I knew that I didn’t want to hang with the girls that gave bobblehead in parking lots. I was NOT going to be their friend. And that’s just the way that worked. I mean, if the fellas thought I spread my legs easier than Country Crock, then that wasn’t going to bode well for me.
Then I graduated.
The more and more I realized who I was, and that there were very few times I “gave a damn” about what people thought, this ceased to become a factor. I’m beginning to wonder if this cliche’ still holds up. How true is it?
I’d like to think that we’re all grown. Maybe I’m silly, but until the actions of another grown person impact me, then I don’t really care. This is totally different from the actions of the President, so don’t go thinking that I’m totally blase’.
I know a guy that has a different woman he cares about every week. He’s close friends with this other man that has a habit of dancing up on women regardless of whether or not they have a man. I’m certain that this action will get him shanked in the club one day, but that’s not the point here. I started talking to this gentleman that called these men his best friends. They grew up together and went to school together. When Iwas introduced to them, I didn’t look at the guy I was talking to any differently. Truth be told, the only thing that ran through my mind was, “Thank GOD I got the cutest one” and kept it moving.
I see that most of the time, an attitude of “as long as he doesn’t do anything stupid around me” then no one could care less what the others do. I see it with me too. Say I have a friend that likes to get pissy drunk. After the first time I have to carry her out, or hold back her hair, then guess where we’re NOT going?! That’s exactly right. That broad is only allowed to go to museums and farmers markets with me. If I’m not around, then she can drink til she drowns. There’s never been a time when someone said, “I saw your girl at the club giving brian in the VIP area” and I’ve thought about how it made me look. Extreme example, but you get my point.
Upon reflection, I don’t know if this is because I don’t care what people think, or because there’s an all around genuine lack of concern. Since I can only write this from my perspective, I’m asking you for yours.
I hardly have this situation happen to me. Outside of high school, I don’t think I’ve been judged by the friends I’ve had. If I have, I haven’t been told. I asked my friend if men judge women based on their friends, and she gave me a loud “YES.” I’m wondering if there’s a double standard. Men, do you judge potential S/O’s by the girls that they run with? If her best friend was known around the block for letting men hit raw, then would you side-eye everyone else in the crew? Ladies, same to you. Is it just that it doesn’t matter now that we’re older? Or are we just happy that someone spoke to us that he could say Satan was his homeboy and the only thing we’d say was “cool, but he can’t come over for Christmas dinner?”
Just wondering… Speak your piece..
Peace and Love, Nick