Birds of A Feather?


Do all of them need to pass the background check before you talk to one?

     Every now and then, my mother drops some useful info. It doesn’t happen often as I call her “Queen of things I already know” but when it does happen, I take notice.

     When I was younger, my mother used to tell me that someone is known by the company they keep. Which works closely in conjunction with “birds of a feather flock together.”  This worked for school because as I got older and reputations became important, I knew that I didn’t want to hang with the girls that gave bobblehead in parking lots. I was NOT going to be their friend. And that’s just the way that worked. I mean, if the fellas thought I spread my legs easier than Country Crock, then that wasn’t going to bode well for me.

    Then I graduated.

     The more and more I realized who I was, and that there were very few times I “gave a damn” about what people thought, this ceased to become a factor. I’m beginning to wonder if this cliche’ still holds up. How true is it?

     I’d like to think that we’re all grown. Maybe I’m silly, but until the actions of another grown person impact me, then I don’t really care. This is totally different from the actions of the President, so don’t go thinking that I’m totally blase’.

     I know a guy that has a different woman he cares about every week. He’s close friends with this other man that has a habit of dancing up on women regardless of whether or not they have a man. I’m certain that this action will get him shanked in the club one day, but that’s not the point here. I started talking to this gentleman that called these men his best friends. They grew up together and went to school together. When Iwas introduced to them, I didn’t look at the guy I was talking to any differently. Truth be told, the only thing that ran through my mind was, “Thank GOD I got the cutest one” and kept it moving.

    I see that most of the time, an attitude of “as long as he doesn’t do anything stupid around me” then no one could care less what the others do. I see it with me too. Say I have a friend that likes to get pissy drunk. After the first time I have to carry her out, or hold back her hair, then guess where we’re NOT going?! That’s exactly right. That broad is only allowed to go to museums and farmers markets with me. If I’m not around, then she can drink til she drowns. There’s never been a time when someone said, “I saw your girl at the club giving brian in the VIP area” and I’ve thought about how it made me look. Extreme example, but you get my point.

    Upon reflection, I don’t know if this is because I don’t care what people think, or because there’s an all around genuine lack of concern. Since I can only write this from my perspective, I’m asking you for yours.

     I hardly have this situation happen to me. Outside of high school, I don’t think I’ve been judged by the friends I’ve had. If I have, I haven’t been told. I asked my friend if men judge women based on their friends, and she gave me a  loud “YES.” I’m wondering if there’s a double standard. Men, do you judge potential S/O’s by the girls that they run with? If her best friend was known around the block for letting men hit raw, then would you side-eye everyone else in the crew? Ladies, same to you. Is it just that it doesn’t matter now that we’re older? Or are we just happy that someone spoke to us that he could say Satan was his homeboy and the only thing we’d say was “cool, but he can’t come over for Christmas dinner?”

     Just wondering…  Speak your piece..

    Peace and Love, Nick

13 Responses to “Birds of A Feather?”
  1. sdukez says:

    With the people my age, there’s this thing called the Carfax that can be “pulled up” and people can tell what kind of person you are [especially sexually]. So as far as that “birds of a feather” saying, I think it’s true. I started working with these two girls that were known to move faster that Nascar’s racers so um, I had to put on my “Here to work and not make friends” face to avoid making acquaintances out of these renounced, former and still heauxs. “Look at your closest 5 friends. That’s who you are.” I don’t live by this quote but I definitely do not disagree. I won’t get too close to a girl if I find out who she fxcks with is a smut. *shrug*

    Now for the guys, I’ll know of some that have been known to fxck through a group of friends easily but if I know his friend & he’s different, I’ll give him a shot.

    I hope this comment made sense lol

  2. max says:

    I’m of two minds about this. One the one hand, I am very cognizant of the fact that people are going to judge me by the company I keep and the places I’m seen and I avoid people/places that will lead to a bad Carfax…I live in a city where groupie-ism runs rampant and so you will never ever see me at an NBA party or outside of a hotel when certain artists are in town. Even if I have legitimate business in the area I’m steering clear because I don’t want anyone to see me and make assumptions.

    On the other hand, I’ve had more than one conversation where someone has said to me “Oh you’re friends with THOSE guys?!?” with an extra-hard squinteye. My friends have a (admittedly deserved) reputation for slaying nuff heaux and being obnoxious pigs. But they have other sides to their personality that the general public doesn’t see and that I would have missed out on if I just went by what their reputations are.

    I think ultimately we have to be mindful of the fact that people will talk sh!t but at the same time form our own opinions and not judge people solely on the company they keep.

    • Damnit! Max said it better. 🙂

    • CHeeKZ Money says:

      I fail to see a women who rolls with promiscuous males can be judged. It doesn’t apply across gender lines.

      If men who typically use and abuse women find one that they actually keep around and befriend, she should be considered cool beyond comprehension for her ability to navigate such heathens.

      I go through the same time with my extra cool plutonic female freind.

      As per the question Nick posted, I am observant so if I do see hoeish activity going on in your circle, I will take note. I will try to be smart in my summary though and not to over the top. So if I see your girl is loose, I will assume that you, at the least, at not judgemental of other people’s activities.

  3. I judge everyone by the company they keep. Hoes roll in gaggles, and shones are grouped in flocks. I am of the mind that a person tells you everything you need to know about them through their crew.

    • nicknotnikki says:

      It’s funny you say this, because this inspiration for this post came from a comment you gave on VSB.. but i’ll discuss that with you on the side..

      i’m just sayin..

      • I am curious to find out which of my anti-pandering rants inspired this post.

      • nicknotnikki says:

        “I have a friend with five children. It takes less than five minutes of being in his presence to figure out that he is a no good bum, yet he has 5 children and two on the way that I know of. His baby mama’s are always griping, but they were the ones that let an obvious bum, who only utilizes catcalling game mind you, hit it raw.”
        This was the comment that inspired this post.. In one minute, I side-eyed you for calling this dude your friend.. Then I put my eyes back in my sockets and decided to write the post.

  4. Streetz says:

    I definitely believe that “you are who you associate with” I also believe “u get treated the way you want to” so I know a lot of “good girls’ that hang with chicks that do Ho sh*t. Dont make em a ho, but doesnt mean they dont have the propensity for ho activities

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