I’m my best company…
“I love myself, I think I’m grand. I go to the movies just to hold my hand” poem told to me by Jody Rosenberg..
I was having a conversation with someone not too long ago. Alright, it wasn’t a conversation so much as a “heated debate.” I was trying to explain to him that so many people are looking for people to “complete them” when truth of the matter is, I personally feel that you should be complete before you ask someone to reside in the empty space beside you. Why I have to explain this to a 30-something year old, I’ll never know. I don’t think the concept is so foreign, but obviously someone thought it was a good idea to be half a person, then go looking for the other half.
Now, no offense to those that subscribe to this train of thought, but I won’t take the time in this post to try and convince you otherwise.
In this debate, I was telling my acquaintance that I do certain things by myself. Mostly because I love my own company. (Come on, have you MET me!?) I think that taking time to be by myself is one of the best ways I can treat myself. Not everyone likes the things I like to do anyway.
After he picked his jaw up off the floor and stopped shaking his head, he said, “do things by yourself, like what?”
1. Go to the movies.
If you’ve been effin with me on Twitter, you’ll know that I am a movie F.R.E.A.K.! Now, I guess this is becoming more accepted, but for a long time the movies were seen as “date territory.” Now, the issue here is that I won’t go to the movies and see just one. Matter of fact, most of the time I won’t go to the movies unless there’s at least 3 I want to see. I will then plot and plan the order that I will watch them. Literally, I write them on a piece of paper. (see here>>>>)
I can’t explain the many positives with taking myself to the movies, but all I can say is that there’s few things better than having no one else’s hands in the popcorn bag. Nobody looks at people strange anymore. Stop waiting for James to call, take yoself to the movies.
2. Go out to eat.
Yes, I am that girl that sits at the table by myself. I people watch, and if the people aren’t interesting then I read. Yes, I read. In the middle of a restaurant. I can realize that going to a restaurant by myself might be a big step for some. Restaurants are seen as “date territory” too, so I understand. I like being the one in the room that doesn’t have to force conversation with anyone. Or even worse, SHARE!? Or even worse than that,explain why “no, you have to ask before you go in my plate.” Can I just say that my amount of issues surrounding food can fill another post. And in the words of Nick, “I ain’t got that kinda time..”
3. Going to Cultural Events.
Or it could be something like going to the ballet or a play. It’s always nice to get out and do something. The ballet requires a little more “look sexy” on my part than the Farmer’s market, BUT it’s still nice to take yourself out for a date. I remember when i went and saw “STOMP!” by myself. It was nice to people watch during intermission. Not only that, but since I didn’t have to entertain anyone but myself I could chat up the guy at the wine cart. I saw “The Producers” and snuck backstage and got Alan Ruck’s autograph.
I’ve gotten my Playbill signed by the conductor of the orchestra. Not saying that you can’t do this if you had company but I think we can all agree unless it’s a bank heist, it’s easier to pull off certain activities if you’re by yourself. And if your friends are anything like mine, I don’t wanna have to sit down with Beth and Becky and talk them up because they’re too scaredy-cat to run backstage and meet the principal dancers. Ya feel me?
4. Go traveling.
I realize that this isn’t for the faint of heart. It helps if I have friends in the destination cities. I remember when my ex and I broke up, I booked a ticket to NY the next week. I wanted to get out and knew no better place to do it. Granted, I stayed with a friend so it wasn’t all that “solo,” but she was on a different time clock than mine (she went to bed at 8 in the morning and slept all day) which leads me to this next point:
4a. Go exploring.
Once I learned how to read the subway map, I WAS O.U.T.! I left a note saying I was gone, and I was GONE! I won’t fake, it’s nice to come up on something and have someone to point it out to, but that sometimes gets old very quickly. I love to explore. There’s a certain freedom in doing what you want, when you want, however you want to. “Yes,” I want a hotdog for breakfast, and “no” I didn’t have to ask anybody else. The less stress involved by the addition of someone else, the better. Not everyone understands this way of thinking, but I say youshould just give it a shot. I went to Ny, DC, (not to be confused with “Disaster In Maryland“) and Atlanta. When I left Atlanta, my friend (who I met up with while I was there) said that I had visited more places than he did, “and I live here.” Matter of fact, I had to take him to Atlantic Station. “Really homeboi? Really?”
Bredren and sistren, I hope you realize that this is in no way to trump you spending quality time with someone that sets your loins on fire. But when there’s no one around and you want to get out, there’s another option. Men, when you can’t decide between Keylolo and Bonquesha, scrap both of them (cuz they’re both drama) and go out. You’ll meet Sandra who wasn’t afraid to return the smile because you were gutsy enough to be out by yourself. I’m so serious! It happens.
I could be crazy, I’ve been called worse. But honestly, you can’t tell me that I don’t make at least “one lick of sense.” Go ahead and speak your piece. Is there something I left out? Do you do ANYTHING by yourself? Come on, you must! Do you need tips!? Because I have plenty of those!
Have a great Monday! I’ll catch you on the flip side….
Peace and Love, Nick