where do they do that!?!?

i’m not gonna write about what happened to me today.. but let’s just say the day ended in some f*ckery.. i got a headache now, and i’m cursing the heavens above…

anyway, i thought i would tell a little tale…

sometime ago, i went to a birthday party for a “friend” of mine at this club.. it isn’t a club so much as a “random spot that keeps changing names, and should outlaw smoking” anyway, my friend and i were dancing.. she likes dirty south music (“my neck, my back”) and i like old school hip hop.. so we took turns dancing until the reggae came on, then we BRUK OUT!!
anyway, after we found the birthday boy, i saw this dude standing by the bar with a doo-rag on (flag #1) whenever my girl and i would stop dancing, this was where we stood.. i stood by “doo rag man” and he drummed up a conversation. it really is difficult to talk when the music is loud, so the conversation went quickly.. before the end of the night, we exchanged numbers (“points.. blouses”)
over the next week, me and “Duke” had several conversations, mostly by text and it was really nothing special.. the following week, i went to a wack party (happens frequently down here) and i ended up texting him while i was there. he asked to see me after the party (pause) and i said “alright” (double pause, it was a weird month) i text him to come by, but gave him directions only so far as my parking lot.. (i live in a condo complex) since i’m very funny about who knows where i live..

i saw him park his car and went out to meet him.. and he STILL had a doo-rag on his head (flag #2) saying that he just got his hair “done” (i don’t know why, but flag #3) after the initial “good to see you” hug we sat and talked for a little bit.. after a while i said we should go for a walk.. at which point he said the following.. (and it went a little something like this..)

“can i take off my shoes (the toe of said shoes curled upward, like Aladdin.. flag #4, don’t ask)”
“why, do your feet hurt?” (i honestly couldn’t understand)
“then why would you want to take off your shoes.. this is a parking lot, (dirty) and we’re gonna go walking (dirty) suppose you stepped on something?”
to be honest, i just didn’t get it.. were his shoes new and he didn’t stretch them out? why was he wearing dress shoes with no socks? (stink bwoy) why did he feel comfortable wanting to take them off and just walk on random street surfaces? did he wanna show off his pedicure?

after a minute or so, he thought better of it and decided to keep his shoes on, but the conversation about the shoes stayed in my head the whole night..

i’m sorry, did he wanna frolic barefoot through the field of daisies? then i could understand, but STILL!? even in that scene in Love Jones, larenz tate had his shoes on..
i let this dude come over my parking lot one more time, and the next time he just hopped out the car barefoot.. WTF!?!?! like that was alright, he wasn’t entertaining any kind of conversation about it beforehand.. and trust me when i say, he did NOT want to show off his pedicure..
question to myself: “what else does he think is alright if he can just NOT have shoes on and be alright with letting those dogs out to bite me.. he could NOT want to play footsies, that’s for damn sure..”
i haven’t seen him since..
has someone of the opposite sex ever done something that was SO off the wall that you couldn’t help but wonder, “where they do that at?!” and more importantly, “who are your parents?!” cuz honestly, *“dem deserve two box”* (patois for the day)
a “box” is a verb.. it is a punch, hit, or slap…

3 Responses to “where do they do that!?!?”
  1. MsEsquire77 says:

    This made me laugh out loud! I feel like the crazy dudes only exist to make up appreciate the good ones more when we find them. If nothing else he's given you a funny story to share. Beyond that let's just pray he gets a pedicure and some comfy shoes.

  2. Cheekie says:

    Yeah, the crazy dudes always be the ones you meet at the club. Last dude I talked to a bit (bad decision considering what he told me at the club…will mention that soon) was hella fine and could dance his arse off. And he seemed like a fun guy, even bringing out the wallflowers to dance.So, we do the whisper game, he asks me how old I am (25), and he proceeds to say:"I have a 21 year old son"WTF?!!! Did he have that kid at age 7? Seriously, he looked so damn young, I couldn't even ask him how he was. I was super shocked. Yeah, um, dealbreaker. How I'mma date you and your son is 4 years younger than me. Hell, I could date HIM. Game over.

  3. Dj says:

    I literally laughed out loud as i read this post. I would have love to have been a fly on the wall ( i know you were outside and had no walls in sight) to see your facial expression that would have been priceless. Was this a Samson and Delilah situation? Did he believe that his power was in his toes and he only needed to make sure that you see them. this is hilarious. I would have loved to know what the thinking was behind this.

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