pullin a "Casper" and other magic tricks
i have a friend, let’s call him “O”.. i use the term friend VERY loosely here because he is only one by quantity, not quality.. i’ve known him for over 15 years, and since we kind of grew up together, he gets a spot in my phone..
you see, “O” is a specialist in what i like to call “pullin a Casper”.. he’s the type of friend that will make plans with you and never call you on the day you had planned.. then call you 7 months later and be like “wuz up?”
“ummm, excuse me! where the hell have you been!?”
he’s the type of friend that will want to discuss my love life (tryin to hobby himself ) and how i’m “too great for that idiot” but if i need him to look at my computer, all of a sudden his phone’s turned off.. like he got his B.S. in “magic and the dark arts.”
he’s the type of friend that will leave messages saying something like “Nick, we’ve been friends for so long.. and you really are my best friend” and then when i call him, he’ll say things like “i’ll call you right back…”
he’s the type of friend that calls and says “wuz up with you?” and when you say, “nothing, same old, same old”.. he’ll then launch into the whole grocery list of the things that have happened to him over the past two months including (but not limited to) “getting struck by lightning” (true story)
i ended up saying something like “i don’t even know why you wonder what’s going on with me, cuz i know you were just waiting for your moment to speak”
he’s the type of person that exhausts you.. the type that makes you exhale and second guess answering when you check your phone and see that he’s calling..
he used to call me in the middle of the night all through middle and high school with the “i’m depressed” saga.. and i’d wipe the crust out of my eyes and listen to him talk..
now, he makes me wanna shank him in the courtyard..
a few months back, both (check it, BOTH) of my computers caught viruses within two weeks of each other.. considering i got fussed THE H*LL OUT for having someone else take a look at my computer the last time it died, i decided to call him.. it’s not like he doesn’t oversee the computer department for a local college campus, and it’s not like he upgraded my friend’s computer to Windows Vista 1 year before it came out.. i thought i could ask for his help.. i called him, got him on the phone (surprise!) and made arrangements with him to come and look at my computer Tuesday evening..
i called him on Wednesday and his phone was disconnected..
secretly dying without a computer, i gave him two weeks and called him. his phone was back on, but there was no answer, and no return phone call when he saw it was me. i left him a message on Friday and haven’t heard from him since…
that was 2 1/2 months ago..
i come from the firm belief that if i left you a message, then the ball is in your court.. i KNOW that one of these days, he’s gonna call and be like “wuz up?” and i think i will promptly lose my mind.. he has offerred me jobs (pause) at his company, a gig on New Years Eve, and a travel buddy when i wanted to go to Universal with a friend.. but honestly, at this point, he is no longer a friend.. everyone who knows me knows that with me, ish don’t come free.. i’ll exercise common decency with elders and things like that, but i don’t give away respect just because.. you have to earn it.. and this dude fell off in astronomical levels!!
i can’t do it anymore.. i’m from the school where if i call you a friend, it isn’t always convenient, but i got your back.. i’ll listen to you and support you.. but honestly, the next time i see this dude, it’s gonna be a misunderstanding (R.I.P. Bernie Mac), i’m effin him up on sight!
you know what it’s like for a writer to be without a computer?? a geek to be without Super Mario Brothers 3? a dancer to be without her playlist?! that ish ain’t right!!
and i’m wondering if he even deserves the benefit of my doubt? AGAIN!?
Do you have a friend that brings out the violent tendencies in you because of how many times they eff up? Are you a good friend? Should me and you never be alone in the courtyard?
cuz i carry my shank AND my shiv….
Please catch the updates..
http://wp.me/pUJex-O – Update Part 1
http://wp.me/pUJex-4J -Update Part 2